Joke

Here's the joke of the day....have a good laugh!



Working people frequently ask retired people what
they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day, Mary my wife and I
went into town and visited a shop. We were only in
there for about 5 minutes. When we came out,
there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man,
how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
I called him a dumb ass. He glared at me and started
writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.

So Mary called him a shit head.  He finished the
second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it
and went home. We try to have a little fun each day
now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

Smart (?) Car

Here's Germany's favourite cute car...the SMART car, made in the same factory as Mercedes. On my last trip to Europe, it was at every turn and corner. Personally, I think it's really cute and it's great for parking, especially in space-starved carparks in Singapore's city skyscapers. It's purportedly

 "A car that offers maximum comfort, agility, safety, ecology and driving fun. A pioneering vehicle concept that is one of the best with its low CO₂ emission figures. "

I thought I might wanna drive one of these till I saw the picture below...

This was taken at an accident scene in New Orleans...Smart car between 2 trucks. When I saw this, I imagined a sickening crunch. Cross my fingers and hope the driver escaped.

Smart or not? You decide.

Star Awards 2010

I had the privilege of getting a VIP invitation to Star Awards, held at Resort Worlds this year. We inadvertently stumbled into a room full of celebrities waiting to walk the red carpet. It was interesting rubbing shoulders with them later on at the post-award party. Pic taken with Stephanie and hubby was at the lobby outside the ballroom. We had good seats behind the celebs on the 4th row..

 Dashing Pierre Png without his Andrea. It was quite fun to be surrounded by a bevy of stars, and seeing if they look quite as good in person. I was also extremely famished and was happy to dig in to quality finger food Hard Rock Hotel served.

Jeannette Aw overjoyed with her win at the post-award party. She's really slim in person, about my size actually, but slimmer. And she has great complexion. Just dunno why she chose this lilac chiffon dress that didn't set her skin off at all. It looked like a wedding cake to me, sad to say. Eelyn Kok had the best gown. It was sequinned white bustier that looked absolutely celestial.

Terrence Cao! I used to have a huge crush on him a decade ago so I was really delighted to take a picture with him. He's so wrinkle-free...must be botox, haha. Heard he's getting married this year.

For some reason, Christopher Lee looks like some upmarket pauper with this look. Sorry Chris, but seriously, that HAIR and the goatee is most unbecoming. It's like...er, what happened to your face?? I suppose that's how he keeps his fans fascinated. All these different up-dos every now and then. I say, get a hair cut, friend.

Another of my fav...Dai Yang Tian. He has this lackadaisical air about him on his tall lanky frame that the gals go gaga over. Super cool! Wonder who styled his hair though...a little pretentious.

Here's Jeanette again, changed to go home. She has this endearing aura about her, although when I passed her on the streets years ago when she was starting out, I wasn't too impressed. She came across as cocky then.

Michelle Chong aka Barbarella! I really like this multi-talented actress. She is about to straddle Channel 5 and 8 equally well, both hosting and acting. She has a rare comic talent and does accents really well. Love her Filipino accent in the Noose. Didn't expect her to be this tall though.

Mark Lee, ever the funny man. I felt really comfortable with him.

The name of this handsome guy escapes me, but I think he's really got potential, judging from his recent roles. Haha, had the chance to be squashed up close and personal to admire his boyish good looks. Great complexion...it's the Sichuan genes I think.

And here's Shawn with us three. He's the lucky hubby of Michelle Chia, who has a bod to die for. My friend Stephanie was so close I wonder if her hubby is having a jealous fit.

Perennial favourite...Fann Wong. Her manager wouldn't allow us to take a shot with her. She's almost like royalty, gracefully gliding about the ballroom.

Royston Tan, director of 12 Lotus, 881. He recognised me straightaway.."Mrs Singapore!!!" he exclaimed before I could introduce myself as Carol's friend. Quirky, humble fella. Very likeable.

The End

SKC Obedience Trials

Being the ambitious mom to Tiger is not a new thing to me. So here we are on the 24th April, entering the trials for the second time in hopes of going home with a trophy. This time round, it's being held at a pavilion at Hougang St 61 instead of Singapore Expo. Every year, the trials are booked last minute at Expo when some event backs out. This will enable SKC, a non-profit organization, to get better rates. This year, no slots were available and they had so much difficulty getting a venue. Some of us donated $ to help them out. I think dogs are really underdogs in Singapore, where no one gives a damn about animal rights, much less all these obedience trials. Hopefully, in time to come, dog owners will pay more attention to training their pets so that they have a better relationship with them, and so that they won't be pests to neighbours all around with incessant barking.

Anyway, here we are at noon, squinting and panting in the heat respectively, warming up, literally without aircon.

 We're next in line for the Pre-Novice category, where the exercises are done with leash. We did well for this one. Tiger was fantastic! I know I looked pensive and stern.  The sternness was deliberate so that Tiger would be able to sense the seriousness of the moment.

 Here's the Novice category, where exercises are done off-leash. Tiger is earnestly following my Heel command. He was really tired out by the heat and could barely sit. Every time we stopped, he went down on all fours. Sad to say, we didn't make it for this one.

Trials over. Now we can relax with this toy poodle...Camfry. He is such a baby. I only held him for 30 sec before he started whining for his daddy.

 Yayyyy...results are out and Tiger came in THIRD PLACE for pre-novice. That's one position up from last year. But I'm really pleased cos this time round we were so ill-prepared for it, and the environment sucked. It was hot, echo-ey and too open with pedestrians walking about, dogs yelping, BBQ smoke, rain etc.

 Prizes included a pack of dog food which I know picky Tiger wouldn't touch.

 So proud of my baby! Note the bling bling leash we bought him. Perfect for a glam dog like him!

 Last pic and its home sweet home.

Hair Extensions for dogs

What animal is this? Impossibly cute eh? When I put these pics up on Facebook, my friends thought Tiger had a new hair cut. In fact, what he has on is a fox tail in a similar colour as his coat which I am holding on to. He hates all the peripherals I try to decorate him with, but good-naturedly put up with my whims.


I realize that when other people see pics of Tiger and hear me glossing over him...how cute, how obedient, how much personality he has, how he can watch TV and see photos etc, it really seems a bit ridiculous. They may even think I'm going overboard to attribute to an animal so many human traits when all they see is another dog. When other people talk about their dogs and show me pics of their favourite pooch, it also seem so distant to me. "It's just another dog" I think at the back of my mind.


It's only when one truly interacts with the animal and stays with the pet for a prolonged period of them that some emotional bond is formed, and the animal goes beyond just being someone else's pet to become an individual entity with a personality, likes and dislikes. An example is my friend's family. At first when they meet Tiger on outings on occasion, it is just a hi-bye, pet-pet-friend's dog  kind of interaction. Later on when we went on holidays and let Tiger stay with them for weeks, they kind of looked upon him as more than just a dog and more as a person. They really missed him afterwards.


So for those of you who think we dog-lovers are crazy and indulgent, try staying with (a good) one for a week and see if you change your opinion.

Sky Burial

Today's news about Tibet's earthquake ...In case you're too lazy/busy to read, the summary is that thousands of people died and because of the sheer numbers, they had to resort to mass cremation instead of their traditional 'sky burial'. This involves chopping up the dead bodies into specific parts and leaving it to the vultures and the elements to dispose of the parts. Apparently, there were not enough vultures to carry out the job.

YUSHU, China -- Vultures wheeled above a grieving crowd after a traditional "sky burial" on Saturday, and Tibetans held a mass cremation after an earthquake devastated part of northwest China this week.


The death toll reached 1,339 with 332 missing, Xinhua news agency said, after a 6.9 magnitude quake hit Yushu county in Qinghai province, where most residents are ethnic Tibetans, devoted to their own branch of Buddhism.


Thousands of people converged on a hillside cremation site, where a convoy of trucks took many hundreds of bodies that had been kept at the main local monastery.


Many wept and chanted as crimson-gowned monks lit the piles of bodies covered in yak oil, wood and old tires. Hundreds of monks droned prayer-chants as the flames rose above the trenches, sending a column of smoke into the sky.


"People will feel very sad for a long time," said Dashi, a middle-aged local man in the crowd. "Tibetans have never experienced such a disaster in 2,500 years."


...


SKY BURIAL


The Dalai Lama, Tibet's exiled spiritual leader to whom many of Yushu's inhabitants say they are loyal but whom Beijing reviles as a "separatist" for demanding autonomy for his homeland, said he longed to go to the area.


"When Taiwan was struck by a typhoon last year, I was able to visit the affected families and pray with them for those who had perished in that disaster," the Dalai Lama said in the Indian hill town of Dharamsala.


"At present, I am unable to comfort those directly affected, but I would like them to know I am praying for them," he said, while commending Chinese authorities' quick relief efforts.


Before the cremation, some monks higher up on the hillside oversaw a small "sky burial", when parts of the dead were fed to the vultures, who were later seen circling through the smoke billowing from the hillside fire.


An ethnic Tibetan man called Zhaxi said one of the dead fed to the vultures, who have wingspans of almost two metres was his uncle, Suona, who died in the quake, crushed in his home. Zhaxi said the family had paid for the ceremony.


"If you can do it, a sky burial is the best way, the most pure way," said Zhaxi. "This is what our tradition expects."


Others remain buried beneath crumpled buildings. Several people were pulled out alive from rubble on Saturday morning, state television said.


For the residents of Yushu, the mourning was an interlude as they struggled to put together their lives.


Residents and army and police rescue teams, as well as the monks, picked through collapsed homes, looking for the dead and possible survivors, as well as bits and pieces to make life living in tents or in the cold outdoors a little easier.

Read more: http://www.montrealgazette.com/news/Tibetans+cremate+dead+quake+toll+rises/2914797/story.html#ixzz0lStanB26

I'm amazed at the Tibetan concept of burial. For most of us in modernized societies, the body of a loved one is almost sacred. We get the body embalmed and take pains to make sure the makeup looks natural. The deceased puts on his best suit and favourite watch/accessory. We then encase the dead in an elegant coffin for the funeral before saying a final tearful goodbye in a cremation or burial. 


Can't imagine paying the undertaker-monk to chop up my relative/friend into gory bits before taking the parts up the mountain. What more to watch giant vultures swooping overhead feast on the human remains, all in the name of "alms to the birds." Then at the end of the day, to revisit the site and see only bones in its place, maybe an eyeball or a decomposed finger. What a last visage that would be! No place of rememberance, no tablet to cherish, no urn of ashes for a memorial. No doubt the Tibetans would remember their deceased loved ones in their hearts, but how quickly the dead would be forgotten!

Pic from Wikipedia. I wouldn't enjoy having my dead body stripped naked for some monks to slice up and mix with barley and yak oil (tsampa). If you want more gory details, click the link below to Wikipedia to get the low down on how the body is processed.

These birds are enormous! This is not the end of the body yet...even the bones are hacked and crushed and mixed with tsampa to coax the birds to eat. Oh my...


According to Wikipedia , the religious aspect is that since Buddhists believe in rebirth, the body is an empty vessel. There is no need to preserve it. On the practical aspect, because Tibet has hard and rocky ground, digging a grave is difficult; it also has limited wood and fuel, so cremation is also not ideal. Well, to coin it "sky burial" is very fanciful and misleading. Definitely nothing to do with the sky, but more of a gruesome ritual.


As for me, I'm just glad I'm not Tibetan.

Dog Fashionistas

At the FCI Japan International Dog Show, a contestant entering her dog for a canine beauty pageant. Poor poodle. Not only does it have a hideous haircut, it's now the laughingstock of the canine world. It is however, a bag of laughs looking like a pumpkin and a ghost at the same time. Perfect for Halloween. 

I've always wondered why they have to cut poodles in this fashion. They used to do that in the 80s and I hated poodles. Nowadays they've stopped making them look like a series of different-sized balls stuck together and I've since come to adore them.

Here's another victim of someone's rainbow-connection whim. Ever wonder if the pooch feels cold at those areas where he has no hair? It would be interesting in winter.

This dog is dyed to achieve the "pooch in boots" effect. Rather cute I must admit. Although I never recommend dye-ing your pet in any colour. It may trigger off skin allergies that will have life-long consequences.

Apparently, dog fashion is a big thing in New Jersey, USA too. This dog was attending the Woofin' Paws Pet Fashion Show at the Carey Stadium. Looking like a lobster will never start any fashion trend, human or canine.

Here's winner of the Best Face Licker, a 5 month old Great Dane. He wears a bizarre hat decorated with what looks like psychedelic multi-coloured fungi. Couldn't be prettier...not.

50 PLUS Expo

Sunday was spent at 50 PLUS Expo, an "aging gracefully" conference for senior citizens offering courses, booths, talks, shows, entertainment, pageant etc. There were all these booths selling holidays, body-contouring inner wear, luxury buses and clothes too.

We are here to volunteer Tiger's services for community work.

Here's a bunch of the pooches involved doing a corporate "down-stay" before the show.

The maltese is a canine celebrity now, having appeared in a SingTel ad.

A smug-looking poodlesaurus.

Tiger doing a face-off with Koko, a gentle and loving labradoodle whom I love to hug. She's like a giant teddy to give a bear hug to and there's so much of her to love. Stroke her enough and she'll roll over for you to stroke her belly too. This breed, btw, is great for allergy-prone people who want to keep dogs. They don't shed at all, since all the hair loss is contained in the curls. However, you'd probably need someone to brush through the coat now and then.

Tiger was a good boy today. He didn't make a fuss of having the huge contraption on his back. 

Giving a whole new meaning to "sausage dog".

Patrick Wong, aka Wong Si Fu, is well-known in the circle as one of the best dog trainers around. His students regularly take top place in obedience trials and his dogs have been in showbiz since 20 years ago. He has a boomz personality to boot, so he freelances as emcee for numerous dog-related events. Btw, if you look carefully, he bears an uncanny resemblance to Taiwanese show host, Wu Zhong Xian. Both are around the same age, and have the gift of the gab. Long-lost brothers perhaps?

Here's a Great Dane, only 8 months old and he's about as big as me. Imagine when he's full-grown! I've never met him before, so he must be thinking "What the....?!!" when I hugged him. He affectionately left a huge drool stain on my blouse. He's not with the other dogs cos he lunges at every dog he meets. It's not aggressive but I wouldn't want to be trampled upon. His handler couldn't even control him when he willfully charges about.

Aunty Lucy aka Chong Qing went to the event too. Took a photo with him backstage making a coy pose. He/she's very popular with the aunties. They all went to give him a spontaneous hug and went: "Aunty Lucy...you very beautiful leh. Wa, your  ne ne pok (breasts) full of foam ah...hahah...". 

Tiger's 15 seconds of fame. He was so scared of the loud noises he was petrified. Couldn't even climb up the stairs himself and had to be carried. Sigh...what a disappointment. Guess it's my fault, seeing that I've been too protective towards him on a daily basis.

We went to the Alps then headed straight to the beach for some surf. Haha..

It was fun walking about all the props. Thankfully, I don't belong here. Well, not my time yet. Will take a look in about 20 years.