Monday, May 17, 2010

My Mortal Enemy

I'm a roach magnet it seems. Since young, I have had various intimate contact with roaches. Once, I stepped on one bare-footed when I was 7. Another time when I was 15, showering, I felt a trickle of water moving upwards. Looking down, I saw a roach climbing up my leg. I screamed, stamped my foot, grabbed a towel and dashed out the bathroom under the curious gaze of my teenage neighbour just outside. Another time, I ran into a flying cockroach roaming my kitchen at night. Suddenly it disappeared, until I looked down at my chest and saw it making its ascent on my blouse. Thank God for Lycra...with a spring it bounced off while I ran to dad for help. So you see, I've never been particularly fond of roaches, however stimulating my adventures have been.

Have been having close encounters of the insect kind these 2 weeks. It started with an innocuous visit to a friend's place. I was about to push open the heavy wooden door when I caught a glimpse of a brown glint. Looking up, less than 10cm away from my face was a HUGE cockroach on the metal knocker. I fell back in horror before bravely making a dash through the door.

Last Friday, when I got into the car, I noticed a movement on the passenger side door. Two little roaches were doing a mating dance, too intoxicated to notice me. I scurried to look for something to brush them off as I contemplated the alternative of running off into the rain. Finally,  I found an alternative use for parking coupons as weapons, sending them off in a watery farewell.

While the hubby was away the last week, I had to keep running away from cockroaches along the pavement as Tiger took his night walks. One particular night, as I stepped into my lift lobby, I noticed a cockroach flirting with my neighbour's door handle. I sighed after I made a quick escape into the lift.

Late that night, as I was spectacle-less, a noticed a flitting on the floor. On closer examination, it was the very same cockroach!! I squirmed, squealed and ran for my Baygon spray, making a feeble attempt to kill it despite my myopic blurred vision. The damned insect made a dash for my bedroom, where my glasses were. Damn damn damn it!!

When I had plucked out enough courage to step into the room snatch my glasses, the insect was nowhere in sight. I paused, wondering what to do. I couldn't sleep with an intruder in the room...then I heard a rustling. The roach reared its ugly head on my vanity table, drunk with insecticide. I wondered if it was wise to douse my skincare with a layer of Baygon. And then it flitted off to the curtains beside it, climbing upwards. I thought quickly now, with my prior knowledge of roach psychology...if I aimed and sprayed, it's likely to charge towards me. Then like it heard my thoughts, it FLEW straight at me, causing me to squawk in terror, running like an idiot out of the room and slamming the door.

By now I was desperate. I contemplated waking my neighbours at an unearthly 3am to ask for expert exterminator help but changed my mind when I realized their baby wouldn't be too happy. I froze in absolute cowardice for 15min, then pacing back and forth while holding the roach hostage in my room. Finally, I armed myself with a broom and Baygon and opened the door, prodding lightly around. Nothing...nothing at all! Great, my company for the night was a cockroach!!

It was a good 4am by the time I bunkered down under the covers with my glasses on, Baygon and broomstick close at hand. Darned cockroach! Go to hell!!

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